It’s Tuesday, March 18th.
I woke up this morning at 7am, ready for the day. Though a little tired I got out of bed immediately, finding that getting dressed and making your bed the moment your alarm goes off is a far superior way to wake up rather than snoozing every 9 minutes. Speaking of which, does anyone know why alarms snooze for 9 minutes? My pastor was curious.
So, as for the title my Fiance and I started Pre-marital counseling this morning! After eating breakfast and getting my coffee ready I drove the 8 minute drive to her house, all the way listening to the Newsboys.
I enjoy having a car. I find it a very peaceful place to think and pray. Even if it’s for a few minutes I still get that alone time that’s just me and the Lord talking and praising him. I’d highly suggest everyone make time for prayer and sharing your heart to Christ on a regular basis because, as I’ve been learning: “when our vertical relationship with Christ is thriving, our horizontal relationships greatly benefit”.
So when Christ is the center, when we trust in Him to provide and give us the love we need then we have the strength to thrive and grow throughout all of life.
So back to counseling.
After picking up my beautiful Fiance we drove a few houses down to Pastor and his Wife’s house where we parked and headed inside. We were greeted cordially with hugs all around and welcomed to sit at the dining room table where our books were waiting for us, having come in sooner than expected!
The first session, lasting over 2 hours was such an encouragement. Many people have had doubts (and complete disapproval) of us getting married young. Though I completely understand why many have their doubts, the disapproval that we’ve come across have proven to me to be un-scriptural and unfounded in reality. The doubts not even being clarified by asking us about it. (So ask if you’d like to know anything!)
Got that covered.
Anyways, counseling went so well! We have a ton of homework to go over, everything from our family life, to our spiritual lives, to why we’re attracted to each other, etc.
So it’s quite a bit to do in a week. (49 pages!)
But I’m so excited.
So besides the encouragement of our families, the affirmation of our pastor and church family, you’re probably interested in the big question, summed up perfectly by a song we’re practicing for choir: “Why?”
So why did we decide this? Well, as we said this morning, it seems like the next logical step. We’ve been together a total of a year and a couple of months, have similar interests, convictions, and life directions. We both believe in the biblical marriage and what must wait for marriage and the progression of a dating relationship that has a purpose of pursuing marriage.
There’s quite a bit of other reasons (more like “sub”-reasons) for moving forward, but I would sum it up by saying that “I want to”.
If there were something Biblically wrong with young marriages then we have problems with Mary and Joseph, as mary was most likely between 16-18 (approx.) And that would also mean that all those in the 1950’s (and any other time) were in sin just for marrying the woman he loved when they were 18. (or the man she loved!)
That makes no sense to me. I find not an emphasis on age, but rather an emphasis on maturity in the scriptures. (c.f. Eph 4:13, Phil 3:15, Col 1:28, Col 4:12)
So what we find is that we as believers are called to maturity in Christ. So if you’re 25 with lots of money yet still lacking godly maturity, then what business do you have bringing a wife into your life? Same thing goes for 18 year-olds. You must get things straight with Christ before you even think about pursuing marriage.
If you disagree and are thinking of marriage to someone not committed to Christ, or are yourself a professed believer not taking Scripture seriously, then check out those verses aforementioned and tell me whether God is for His children growing in maturity in Him. After all, it’s not about my opinion. It’s about God’s word.
As I read the Bible I think about maturity not just before marriage, but in marriage. In Ephesians 5:23-25 Paul clearly lays out the mans role as head of the home, laying down his life in sacrificial love for his wife is whole life.
That’s not a task for the immature. Nor will money get you there.
Laying down my life for my future wife means that today I work hard, pursue purity, and pursue her heart in a godly way that both blesses and encourages her. Though this is no small task, I know that in Christ “all things are possible” and that He will give me the strength to prepare to lay my life down.
Thanks for reading! Make sure to follow if you’d like to read more posts like this and make sure to share if you found it encouraging! Or just leave a comment disagreeing if you’d like, i’d to have some good dialogue!