The old hymn echoes in my head:
My Hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness…
My life has been a whirlwind of work, ministry, starting a business, and keeping my priorities straight. The latter has had its moments.
As I mentioned in a previous post, I started a small lawn and landscape service. It’s actually going quite well, though slowing for the fall and winter. My job at Chick-fil-a has gone successfully and I’m currently (starting next week) working two days at CFA and two days at a local Auto Shop as a Service Technician.
All of these happening within a month of leaving our previous church and beginning anew elsewhere. With this whirlwind of stress and emotion, my heart has grown colder to God’s goodness. I haven’t felt the fervor of yesteryear I want so much. And I’m checking my heart to truly understand why.
Let me explain.
When we’re drawn to sin, or even just “stuff” (career, busin
ess ownership, financial security, etc.) our flesh whispers to us that pursuing those things will ultimately make us happy. That a secure job, a cool car, or path in life will ultimately secure satisfaction. And if we buy into this lie, we will do anything to achieve it. Including neglecting our devotion to the God who bought us.
But as God has been teaching me, all things not built on the foundation of God and His word will eventually make the believer as dissatisfied as ever.
I make myself anxious over not “choosing the right path” or whether or not I should be pursuing a business idea or something else entirely. My brain is wired to think deeply, but sometimes i allow it to cause me anxiousness that i don’t need or want. Waking up everyday wondering if I’m doing what I should.
And this kind of thinking is my problem. I’m at the wrong starting point. Me.
Rather than asking, “what should I do?” I should rather be asking “What will make God look great?”.
This perspective sucks the ego out of anything. Because if I’m pursuing business to the Glory of God, it’s not for the affirmation of customers that my fallen heart so desperately wants. It’s not for the success at work or the pat on the back from the boss. The gospel frees me from this modern form of self-slavery.
For if Christ purchased my standing before God, I have no need to seek my security from money, for I have already inherited eternal life. I don’t have to have affirmation from people because in Christ I’m more loved and accepted than I could ever hope for. And if God has a greater plan than I could ever dream of for me, than why should I wake up each morning and question it? What rebellious people we are!
“On Christ the solid rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand”