As the first semester draws to a close, I reflect back on some things God’s been teaching me through this good and difficult time studying in PA.
1. – I’m Not as Studious as I Thought
Originally entering college conjured up thoughts of blissful study, growing in knowledge, and frequent coffee-saturated study times. Sure, I may have a moment or two of those, but really this semester has shown my lack of diligence and focus.
School requires work. And sometimes, some work isn’t enjoyable. My personality sometimes (wrongly) assumes that when I can’t see a reason for doing something, then there must not be one.
As deadlines began to creep up on me, those “reasons” for completing my word started to become very clear to me. AKA, if you don’t do the work, you fail the class. Whether you think it will be helpful or not.
After God shook me from my arrogant attitude, I found myself enjoying my paper-writing and class-attending. Even if what i already knew what I was being taught.
Either way God grew me in the areas of discipline and time-management, and I’m grateful for the monotonous tasks. They taught me to persevere even when there seemed to be no payoff.
2. – God Has a Reason
I always tell myself I believe God is in control of every situation, but in many ways my life has conveyed a totally different story. Through all the papers, car issues, and other things that have caused me stress, God has revealed to me an acute lack of trust or joy in Him.
This season of my life hasn’t caused, but rather revealed that I truly haven’t believed God is in control of my life or that He even cares to be involved. It manifested itself when things would stress me out or a car issue would spring up and I wouldn’t want to deal with it. I would be filled with anxiety, often not praying, but seeking myself to find comfort in my own head.
This revelation of my lack of trust in Gods control led to neglect of my personal time with Christ, which led to more sin. Bottom line is, I was fighting without a sword.
In the last few weeks God has revealed these things and has brought me back to his word to show me that He does in fact care about me, He will provide, and He is in control of every circumstance, not just the ones that went right.
So when I often felt that God is letting things happen to me for no reason, I can now look back, albeit from a narrow perspective, and see that He was putting me through them to show me that I desperately needed Him. I couldn’t do it for my name, but for his. Which leads me to my next point.
3. – My Blog Isn’t About Me
I’ve been pondering a more permanent name for my blog during this semester, and have finally decided on one: “For His Name”. The reason for this change is that it conveys more of what I want to write about. I do enjoy writing about my own life and what I’ve been learning, but ultimately it’s not about my name, it’s about his.
And just as a disclaimer, having your name as your blog doesn’t mean you’re a prideful super-sinner, I just wanted a blog name that better represented what I wish to convey in my posts.
Anyhow, I hope you enjoy the next season in my blogging! God will be leading us to Virginia to settle for a while this coming week, so be praying as we move forward!
Thanks for reading!