“You must be crazy!”
“Have you changed your mind yet?”
These are all phrases I come across on a fairly regular basis. And no, I haven’t changed my mind. But the crazy part? Well…
Let me start in Genesis. God made marriage, sexuality (in marriage), and companionship and called it all what? “Good”. So this thing I’m getting myself (and her) into is something very “good” according to God himself, the maker and sustainer of everything.
So going from there I know marriage itself isn’t a bad thing when two Christians commit to loving one another Biblically no matter what. But that’s the crazy part, choosing to love someone for the rest of your life.
That really doesn’t fly in this day and age. Though I have (and still do) struggle with commitment at times, and I’m not as mature as I’d like to be at times, I’ve grown to understand something: Love is a choice.
Though emotions are a very good thing (Christ made them!) they can deceive, and have deceived me many times into acting in a foolish and unloving way. Feelings don’t dictate the choice love as the world as we know it likes to think, but the choice to love dictates how we feel.
Now I’m getting a bit ahead of myself. Anyways, God makes marriage and calls it good. Yep, got that. And as you keep reading and studying about Biblical marriage you find something quite intriguing: we are called to love and respect unconditionally even when we don’t feel love or respected. We must choose love, not let love choose us.
This is controversial. Culture says spouses should earn their husband or wifes love, but scripture makes it clear that Men are called to “love [our] wives as Christ loves the church” and Christ layed His life down when we spat in His face. That’s love.
And as a man that’s a scary order at times as I’ve come to realize that “love” in the emotional way, won’t keep us together. My feelings will inevitably come and go as they do in every marriage, and hers will to. But will I choose to love even when I feel no respect? Will I lead with strong hands even when my wife can’t lift me up?
The little I know is this: Christ will give me exactly what I need emotionally, physically, and spiritually to lead. All I need to do is let.
Let Christ take me over.