So as i lie awake last night, i was restless. I couldn’t sleep.
I’ve been asking myself a lot lately what my problem is. Is it thinking? Is it not letting my guard down? Well, those may have something to do with it, but it always goes back to the heart.
Because for me, I can work all day, get some exercise, be a little tired, but then still feel like nothing worthwhile got done. I know that contentedness is something Me (and everyone else) needs to have more of, but sometimes i just can’t grasp it.
And then i realize,
“Apart from Christ [I] can do nothing” -John 15:5
Sometimes i just don’t trust. At all. I’m a bit of a control freak in that i like to know what’s going on, not so much calling the shots, but making sure i have everything specifically diagrammed in my head so i never get caught off guard or surprised.
I’ve found this trait to be both a gift, and somewhat of a downside.
A gift, because i can think quickly about something and organize and prioritize fairly well.
But as a downside, it creates intense over-thinking on anything. Whether it be life, relationships, career, etc.
So how do i tie that into sleep and being tired for Jesus?
Well this morning as i was working i listened to a great Matt Chandler sermon on “Persevering in the Pursuit of Joy“.
One thing He pointed out was that he believes that we as men are meant to be tired. Not a lazy tired that doesn’t produce anything good, but a sincere “i’ve worked hard and i know i’m being faithful to what God wants me to do” kind of tired.
And i haven’t been that lately. I’ve been more lazy. Not getting into scripture like i should, not working hard to conform to Christ. Though i’m not saying there isn’t any Grace for those struggling as i am, i’m just saying i haven’t been letting Christ live through me, letting His thoughts be mine by studying the Bible and living it out by working hard and being faithful with what he’s put in front of me.
I want that kind of rest that comes from working faithfully. That joy that comes when we know we’re being faithful to the calling He’s set before us. And with that tired joy comes a new energy that is from Christ that gives us peace to love our families, sleep peacefully through the night, and get up the next morning ready for a new day.
Only when we are being faithful to Christ as he reveals himself in Scripture can we get the Joy that is from Him, the Joy that we find in Him, and Him alone.
Thanks for reading!